the aftermath

Tuesday night Hillsong United came to St. Louis and my mom got me tickets for my 21^st birthday. In my opinion, Hillsong United is one of the best Christian worship bands there is, and definitely my favorite worship band, so I was ecstatic that I was finally going to get to see them live.

While the concert itself was unbelievable –there is nothing quite like worshipping the Lord with over 10,000 other people- and the band members all performed with such energy, sincerity and passion, what stuck with me through the concert, and is still on my mind today, was the title of their latest CD and also the name of their tour, Aftermath.

af·ter·math  /ˈaftərˌmaTH/ n.  

1. A consequence, especially of a disaster or misfortune

2. A period of time following a disastrous event

(you can listen to the song here if you want)
hillsong united-aftermath


One of the band members explained the meaning behind the title, and it was a wonderful analogy. I am all about the analogies. Love ‘em. haha Anyway, I am going to do some paraphrasing here, and I’m sure what I write won’t be nearly as eloquent as what was said at the concert, but I’m trying. :) Basically, using the title ‘aftermath’ was a play on words. And how, if we didn’t have Jesus in our lives, we would be living in the aftermath of our mistakes, our failures, our pain, our hopelessness. Instead, because Jesus came and died for all of our sins, we are able to live in the aftermath of THE CROSS. This means we are able to live freely with grace and hope and love and joy, despite all of the things we will face in this world. Because of Jesus, the aftermath of the cross will eventually, for us, become eternal life with our Father in Heaven.

So of course I started thinking….I know, I know. I think too much. Maybe that should be the tagline for my blog. And I asked myself a simple but remarkable question.

What would my life look like without Jesus?

Maybe you know. Maybe you are living a life without Jesus. As for me, I grew up in the church. As far I was concerned, there was never a doubt in my mind about the existence of God or the truth of the Bible. Although I’ve had ups and downs, times where I only had a faith of convenience, times when God didn’t always come first, He has always been there. In high school, especially my senior year, I faced a lot of trials that made turning to God difficult. But by His grace, just when I was starting to lose sight of what was truly important, college began presenting me with opportunities to grow closer to God. I began to develop a personal relationship with God, one where I saw God as not just a creator, a judge, or some abstract idea, but as a friend.

I know some people think this is crazy. But because of this relationship, because of my faith, I am living an incredibly blessed life where each day seems more beautiful than the next, and when bad things happen, they are an opportunity for God to work in my life.

It took me a long time to get to this point. As I mentioned above, before college, God was present in my life, but he wasn’t the focus of my life. When I realized this, my whole world was turned upside down. I spent most of my teenage years with a strange emptiness in me. No matter how many friends I had, no matter how many things I accomplished or achieved, no matter how many places I went, there was always something missing. Relationships never worked out. Medicine and science failed me. I wasn’t always ‘the best’. I let people take advantage of me. I was betrayed. Let down. The media misled me. People in my life disappointed me. They disappeared. They changed. Things in my life happened that I couldn’t control. That I felt I didn’t deserve. And the list goes on and on…

Really, my story isn’t that different than anyone else’s. We all struggle. We all experience heartbreak and suffering on different levels.

But that place in my heart, the one that couldn’t be filled by relationships, or money, or material objects, or accomplishments? With the help of some amazing friends, the Bible, and a lot of prayer, I realized that this emptiness could only be filled by God. God created each of us with a place in our hearts that is meant for only Him. And if we truly believe this, in life we will never feel alone, or forgotten, or empty. We will find comfort and peace in the Lord. Because this world WILL let us down. We are going to face adversity. We will lose loved ones. We will lose our jobs. We will lose our homes. Some of us will lose our sight, or our memory, or the ability to walk. We won’t always have enough money to get the things we want. The person we love won’t always love us back. The life we live might not always turn out the way we planned. What we forget sometimes, what is so easy to forget when facing suffering, is that this world is only temporary. God, Jesus, Heaven….they are forever. And because we are living in the aftermath of the cross, it changes everything.

I am so thankful that it’s not just me that has the opportunity to live in the aftermath of the cross. Jesus didn’t just die for me. He died for all of us. And if you don’t believe that you can live this life in the aftermath of the cross, I pray that God will open your heart and your mind to the beauty and abundance of His promises. :)

For me, life without the cross would be despair. Bitterness. Brokenness. Anger. Hate. Fear. Pain. But because of the sacrifice that Jesus made, and my relationship with God, I am living a life of grace. Mercy. Joy. Hope. Love.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." –John 16:33

From Jess, with love<3

always