the end is not the end

It’s been over two weeks since I got back from Colombia.

There’s a lot that can be said about what happens after a mission trip. I came home feeling distant and strange, almost like I didn’t belong here. I went back to my job, started working on things for school, and picked up my summer plans where I’d left off.

But my heart was still in Colombia.

Each night before I went to bed, images from the trip flashed through my mind. Children we loved, homes we visited, and the poverty that was a way of life. The entire first week that I was back in the US I took cold showers; whether it was out of habit or by choice, I don’t really know. I bit my tongue when people complained about hot weather, or how they were ‘starving’, or how terrible life was. I was so incredibly grateful for everything that God had blessed me with. Things that I hadn’t even thought to thank Him for. Like clean water. Doors and windows. Cars. Health care. An education. I longed to do so much for the children in Colombia, but felt like no matter what I did, it wouldn’t be enough.

The feelings never really go away, but they do fade a little bit. I wanted to write this while everything was still fresh in my mind. While my heart was still breaking for the people I grew to love in Colombia.

The people of Colombia truly understood that God was the only thing on this earth worth putting your hope in. For them, it was simple. Second nature. Common sense. I really listened when people we met described their lives and told us how they survived from day to day. The need in Colombia is real. Poverty there is real. For these families, starvation was a reality. Many of the children we met were victims of physical or sexual abuse. Children as young as five walked between one and five miles to get to school each day and church on Sundays. Parents couldn’t ensure that their children would grow up healthy and safe despite the many sacrifices they made.

But these people, they knew it wasn’t just by chance, or because of bad luck that they were living these lives. It was God, using them in whatever way He could to bring glory to His name. Even the children truly believed that God had a purpose for each of them. The people of Colombia showed me that having nothing really just means you have everything…in Jesus.

If only I could live that way.

If only we could all live that way.

Because even through all of the struggles they faced, these people had joy. Pure joy. It shined in their eyes. It was woven into all of their actions. And I knew that the only place this light could come from was our Lord.

Out of everything I experienced on this trip, seeing the faith and hope and joy that triumphed over adversity because of our God was the most beautiful thing to witness.

I would love to go back to Colombia. I miss the people, the scenery, the landscape, the culture…all of it. Right now, I’m looking into some one-month trips to Colombia for next summer. Maybe a mission trip, maybe teaching ESL, maybe working at an after-school program. I don’t know if I will be able to save up all the money or if I will have enough courage to go on my own, but I would love your prayers. I will be praying also, and I know if Colombia is where God wants me to be, I will end up there. Just like this year. And I take comfort knowing that this trip, just like the one to Jamaica, is just the beginning for me. I trust that God has more plans for mission work in my future.

The end is not really the end.

Once again, thanks to all of you who supported my mission with money and prayers. Colombia was such a powerful, God-filled experience for me, and I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. If you have any more specific questions about the details of my trip, or my plans for the future, don’t hesitate to ask!

from Jess, with love

always